Roy, Sheena, D, K, A, C and L

Roy, Sheena, D, K, A, C and L

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Monday, February 22, 2016

Parenting Paradox

I am constantly stuck between two equally undesirable options while swiftly marching closer to the second option.

Friday C-dog, the C-diggity, the delightful Mr. C used the potty while I was showering.  Let me be clear that I am practicing "Child-Led Potty Training".  I don't know if there's already a thing of this but I'm sure there is.  My practice up to a few days ago was to not potty train - ever.  He'll figure it out eventually.  In the mean time I have the convenience of diapers (no public accidents, no rush to the potty, no scrubbing the carpet etc.).  I'll save the environment some other way because disposable diapers and I are very cozy.
Well, this child-led philosophy was great until the child decided to lead to the potty.  So now I'm dealing with accidents and potty-rushing.  But even better was Friday while I was showering.  I thought I was safe- baby asleep in bed, toddler watching a movie.  Well, not safe per se but as safe as one gets with two mini's at home.  I WAS SO WRONG.  
The first clue of serious trouble was when I could hear splashing... coming from outside the shower.  But I was still unprepared for the scene awaiting me upon exiting my shower.  Here's an expertly drawn and perfectly rendered diagram.  Brown represents carpet and blue represents water.  Lots of water.
You see, Thursday I had installed a new roll of toilet paper.  Thursday evening C unrolled the entire roll.  Friday he pottied and used the paper on the floor (nearly a full roll) to wipe.  Then he flushed.  I can only assume by the amount of water that he flushed and flushed and flushed and flushed and flushed and flushed and .... you get the idea.
It took 8 full sized towels to get the water up.  And they were soaked!  The laundry basked was a billion pounds of water and towels.  Then I got to bleach the floors, clean the toilet, bathe the toddler and take a shower, again.

Saturday it was popcorn. Lots of popcorn all over the rug.
Sunday it was a pee accident and nuclear meltdown over taking a bath after falling in the toilet.
Today is a new day!  Can't wait to see where it takes us!

All this to demonstrate the paradox I face every minute of every day.
This kid:
And this kid:
 And this kid:
 And these kids:
are all marching relentlessly to adulthood.  They refuse to be swayed in their drive.  And when I'm mopping toilet water up with towels, or fighting over fractions, or cleaning up crumbs (how?! why and how so many crumbs EVERYWHERE!?), or dealing with attitudes - you know the attitudes - and a million other GGGRAAAAAAHHHH things the march is too slow.  I can't wait to be done with potty training and teaching kids to read and cleaning up to find everything is a mess.  But I know when those things are gone so are the little faces.  The little hands and feet.  The small voices spouting big phrases.  The hugs from arms that barely reach around my neck.  The smiles from mouths with a few too many gaps.  The introducing me as his mama-bear.  The bedtime discussions and loves.  And millions and millions of other impossible to hold on to moments.  

Hurry up and get out of this stage but please stop growing up.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Funny C-dog

Train engineers do not smile.
Well, okay. Maybe they smile a little.

1. Everything is a train.
2. If it isn't a train, please see number 1.


Thursday, February 4, 2016

Recent Lessons

K recently learned the literal meaning of the phrase "worried sick".  This happened after a couple of hours of fretting and crying over things like ghosts and Disney's Tarzan soundtrack.
I learned, or rather re-learned, that patient, kind, talk-it-out mom goes off duty long before 10:30 p.m.
It isn't a good idea to wash an old rug when the non-slip backing is already cracking.
Also, use a vacuum to clean the inside of the washer when you wash the old rug anyway.
C will eat pancakes and waffles after all.  Turns out he prefers his breakfast to be accompanied with a side of ketchup for dipping.
The Great British Bake-Off is delightful and may cause one to start thinking in British phrases.
"I've got to get a wiggle on."
"Its really quite stunning."
"The crumb on that sponge is perfection."
Turns out a child can survive on chicken nuggets alone.
D will do just about any job, including cleaning out the garden, when motivated by the proper leverage.  In the case of the garden, the entire series of Artemis Fowl books (used copies because 9 books!).
Roy and I have been married long enough to have the same reaction when finding a job undone that we were both hoping the other would do.  In this case cleaning the bathroom sink after haircuts.
Me, upon finding the hair still all over after putting C down for a nap: "Seriously?!"
Roy, 20 minutes later (while I'm nursing the baby): "Seriously?!"
Bumbo chairs have the unpleasant side effect of turning a well fed baby into a bulimic.